The Seagoat is notoriously realistic. Driven, responsible and disciplined, a Capricorn is not known for being a feeler like their polar-opposite Cancer cousins. As an earth-sign, a Cap has a tendency to be more in their head and rationalize matters of the heart because feelings aren’t practical. I do not mean this as a criticism or a problem that just affects Capricorns; I think that intellectualizing our feelings is an epidemic. I probably call out a client at least once a day for “intellectualizing” their emotions. What does this mean exactly? Some things I hear often are: “What is the point of being angry?” Or, “What is the point of me being sad? It doesn’t do anything.” Allow me to educate you on the defense mechanism of “intellectualization” (or give you a refresher if you studied psychology at some point). Intellectualization happens when you use reasoning to circumvent facing some sort of internal conflict or painful, confusing emotions. Sticking to the facts and logic as opposed to feeling and being with whatever emotions are coming up is very common, and very American. Our society, built upon the masculine principals of achievement, rationalization, and material success, has not made room for feeling and being with our emotions. We talk ourselves out of feeling things, saying things like, “What is the point? It won’t do anything,” or remember our parents telling us to “stop crying-you just need to move on!” Sound familiar?
I had a total epiphany several years ago when a friend told me to just “stop feeling that way!” As if I could turn my emotions off like a faucet. I remember thinking, “But I am not choosing to feel this way--in fact, I am praying for it to go away and to stop—I have no control over this!” And then I realized that I had no control over my emotions--that they were just incoming and I was not only a witness to this incoming, but an experiencer of the onslaught of whatever feelings had been triggered by whatever person or situation. I HAD NO CONTROL over what feeling I was feeling or what feeling was coming next, it was just HAPPENING. My feelings were not wrong, but they were interesting. I became curious about them then—WHY is this happening, and what are they trying to teach me?
And teach me they did. In going through the experience of allowing everything move through me instead of talk myself out of it, I learned quite a lot. I learned so much from sitting with sadness and disappointment and anger. And there was no way I could have learned what I did had I not actually felt all of those things. So many of us, my past self included, try to talk ourselves out of feeling a certain way because “it doesn’t make sense” or because we don’t understand “the point of it.” Some of us just repress feelings by saying, “I’m fine,” or “it’s no big deal.” Then there are those of us that try to escape feelings through abusing substances or some other activity that we can become addicted to, all because we can’t tolerate the incoming emotions. All of these tactics are just ways to avoid our bodies and the potential pain, anger, hurt, or shame that we sometimes feel.
And so now I will answer the aforementioned question, “What is the point? It won’t do anything.” Actually, experiencing your feelings will do a lot—it will teach you things you do not know. It will make you wiser. Things you might have heard of but then suddenly make sense because of your visceral experience. By connecting to your feelings and allowing them to move through you, you are also connecting to your body. And your body doesn’t lie. In fact, your body knows things before your mind does. So to cut yourself off from your body is also to cut yourself off from your intuition and inner guidance. So just to be clear: no feelings=no body=no intuition. And what is life without being connected to your intuition or your heart? Sounds terrible! Yet we have been taught to do this. By our parents, our teachers, and our science/logic/fact-based society. But this is not where creativity comes from, or love.
The Greeks had a word for what you can gain by feeling your feelings: Gnosis, which means esoteric knowledge of spiritual truths essential for salvation. Um, yeah, sign me up for that! But in order to get this divine wisdom, we must actually FEEL all the things and not repress them or talk ourselves out of moving through a painful experience, which takes time, and awareness. Feelings are messy, and often times they don’t make sense. They aren’t supposed to be logical! We don’t have control over our feelings, but we can control our reaction to them. We can have a different relationship with them that doesn’t stem from judgment or fear and try to understand why we’re feeling a certain way (hint: usually your childhood ;) And in doing that, we not only learn more about ourselves, but are also given a key to Universal Wisdom that is not accessible any other way. As Socrates said, “Know thyself, and thou shall know all the mysteries of the gods and of the Universe.”